Dieing Inside
by "Mommy of 6"


I am 21 and I have 3 living children. I am trying to have another but I am scared. I just had an ectopic pregnancy back in June of 2007 and it terrifies me that it may happen again. When I was 14 I had a miscarriage. It could have been prevented but the doctor told me that I was to young and my body could never take being pregnant. My uterus was to small. Then at 17 I had a beautiful baby girl. I learned I was pregnant two months after she was born. I had a beautiful baby boy. Then I got prenant 6 months later and I now have two beautiful baby girls and one boy. I got pregnant after 2 months and lost the baby. They told me my body wasn't ready for another pregnancy and I couldn't carry it. I got pregnant once again. I went to the doctor and they told me I was five months along but the baby was in my tubes so they would have to terminate the pregnancy. They told me that there wasn't much time but I wanted to talk to my husband first. So I made the appointment for them to terminate the pregnancy but I went home to talk to my husband first. He didn't say much so I ended up going through with the appointment. It has been 6 months and I still can't stop thinking about it. I need help. My husband and my family never once stopped and thought to ask me if i was ok or if I wanted to talk about it. Nobody went with me to my appointments and I have to figure out how I am going to deal with the fact that I killed my baby. How do I do this. I want another baby so bad and I have been trying but it hasn't happened yet. What do I do?



Comments: I am dying inside and nobody cares.


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© January 2008 by "Mommy of 6". The author of this work has given full permission for its distribution, electronic or otherwise, as long as the entire work is presented in full, the author information from the bottom of the work is retained, and this copyright and permission is retained.


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