My Baby
by Nancy Van De Vaarst


You were only the size of a tiny seed,
But you were my baby to me.
You didn't have arms or legs or hair.
You didn't have eyes to see.

You had no brain for you to think.
Your heart could yet not feel.
I couldn't feel you move or kick.
But to me you were so real.

A part of my love was sent with you,
When God called you back to His door.
I may never know why, but whatever His reasons,
That day God loved you more.

You never heard your sisters' laughter.
You never saw your Daddy's smile.
But you were already a part of our family,
If only for a little while.

But I know our journey will begin again,
The day God hands you back to me.
Maybe He'll change your hair, your sex.
But you'll still be my baby to me.


I wrote this poem in the early morning hours before my very first D&C. We already had 2 girls, but my hsuband and I wanted a 3rd child. You may contact Nancy at vandevaa@us.ibm.com.


© March 1998 by Nancy Van De Vaarst. The author of this work has given full permission for its distribution, electronic or otherwise, as long as the entire work is presented in full, the author information from the bottom of the work is retained, and this copyright and permission is retained.


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