Just Different
by Tracy Chastain


One day I pray that I will see that 2nd line again
Oh to remember what it was like that day
I allowed myself to dream, the joy so intense
Running into the living room floating on air

Then one day those dreams came to an abrupt end
For joy once took my mind on a wonderful journey,
And now suddenly it leaves me standing alone,
Watching in silence as it's stolen away

And here I sit reminded that I can try again
Grieving your loss, and yet thinking of a future
You were my future, now you are a beloved memory
How can I go on now, I never want to replace you

And still I want to believe there will be a time
One day when I hear the news yes it’s true
And see the glow on my cheeks,
and the light in my husband's eyes again

I see that beating heart
And breathe a sigh of relief
And begin to rejoice over the wonder
And marvel at the new miracle

I know that I will feel alive again
I will remember the feeling
I will begin to dream
Amd even have a hope for the future again

My mind will once again carry me away
I will sing a new song a
And choreograph a new dance
One that will only be ours to share

Still through all of the wonder, I may pause
Glisten may appear, a tear stain down my cheek
Maybe for a moment my mind will seem to soar
Please remember you are seeing the face of love

One day you will understand the hopes and dreams I held for
          another sililar to you, sweet baby
You will know that when I meet you
For the first time I will wonder
If maybe just maybe your eyes look familiar

I hope that as you grow you will come to realize
You are here because through it all God’s healing love broke through
And a Mom and Dad decided to try again for little you

You will never replace the child
We said goodbye to that day
You are more precious and wanted
More than you can ever know

Not him or her,
Just you, Just different
The future, the new dream, the new song,
And never doubt that you are so very loved!

Still for now I sit with uncertainty
The future is just a blur without my baby
The future seems to be
Not really here, not really gone, Just different!


This was wrote when everyone said "You can try again." The guilt and confusion over what I was feeling about the loss of my baby, and yet the longing to hold a baby in my arms set in. You may contact Tracy at chastain8@juno.com.


© August 2002 by Tracy Chastain. This work is protected by copyright and may be distributed or published only with the express written permission from its author. You may, without permission, publish or otherwise provide the URL (web address) of this page.


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