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Paula Long
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Books, Music, and Other Publications
The following publications are available directly from the owner's web site.
Below these are publications available through Amazon.com.
From the jacket copy: [this book] offers reassurance, and a welcome measure of relief, for those who are struggling to recover from a loss. Therapy, she writes, has added a "subtle burden by converting grief from a fundamental human experience into a therapeutic process whose goal is to overcome the loss." By pointing out why the theory of a cathartic resolution is oppressive, she provides a thoughtful and different perspective on the current view of grief. She came to this conclusion from her own wrenching experience. In 1990, she lost both of her twin children. Wendell Fifield-Freeman died two days after birth. His brother, William, lived for three months but suffered the complications of prematurity, including cerebral palsy. Their deaths were the last in a series of tragedies that began with the murder-suicide of her half brother's family in 1987. As she recounts her realization that she would not heal but would have to live with a changed, more painful reality, she makes an original contribution to the understanding of bereavement. Articulating hidden, often unacknowledged aspects of grief, this incisive and probing book will speak to anyone who feels inadequate because of the contemporary expectations of recovery. More than simply a poignant chronicle, [this book] also has surprising flashes of wry humor and evocative passages about her childhood in Provence, as the author links past and present in a singular work of remembrance.
My Note: This site was honored with the Honored Babies Site of the Month Award for April & May 2000.
Nina Bennett, a bereaved grandmother and healthcare professional, offers an intimate perspective on the process of redefining normal in a life forever changed by the death of a grandchild. Forgotten Tears reviews the traditional stages and theories of grief and also contains personal accounts from bereaved grandparents on various aspects of their grief journey. Although the main emphasis is on miscarriage, stillbirth, or newborn death, the exploration of the grief process is applicable to the death of a grandchild at any age. The focus of the book is on the depth and intensity of the grief experienced by grandparents. Forgotten Tears challenges the very concept of resolution and openly discusses the belief that grief is an ongoing,lifelong process.
Reader's review posted on Amazon.com:
A wonderful, heartfelt piece of work, August 31, 2005
Reviewer: Martha M. Tousley "Marty Tousley, APRN, BC, CT" (Fountain Hills, AZ USA) - See all my reviews
Written by a bereaved grandmother who is also a healthcare professional (former childbirth educator and reproductive healthcare specialist, now working in the HIV/AIDS field), this is an intimate portrayal of her own grief journey following the unexpected stillbirth of her beloved granddaughter. The author manages to weave theoretical material about grief and mourning in and amongst her very private journal entries and personal experiences, which makes this work valuable not only to mothers and grandmothers but to mental health professionals as well. The book is clinically accurate and current, incorporating material from leading experts on bereavement as well as anecdotal experiences gathered from other bereaved grandparents, so that it will appeal to clinicians as well as members of the lay public. I especially appreciate how, through her own touching examples, this author gives bereaved families permission to keep the memory of their babies alive and to continue to develop a connection with them through the years. As Lorraine Hedtke so accurately observes (...), sadness is only one aspect of the complexity of grief, and remembering is what helps us manage our sorrow more effectively. I have listed this book on the pages of my Grief Healing Web site (...) as one I highly recommend to my site visitors, clients and colleagues.
"As a bereaved parent you're often alone; it's hard to make people understand just what you're going through, and what you need from them. And as a support person, it's hard to know what to say, what to do, what to expect and how to help our bereaved friends. With stories from over 60 parents, grandparents and siblings who have been through the death of a child,
and honest comments on the support they received and needed, this book is just what bereaved families and caring professionals need." Note: Hard Copy Available.
"A Friend in Grief; How to help a bereaved parent" is a booklet for support people. It's available as a free download in Word 6 and Word 97 format, HTML, and will shortly also be available in PDF format.
"The booklet may be freely distributed in electronic or print format in its entirety (including the copyright notice) on the condition that it is not exchanged for payment - the publication must remain FREE."
I am pleased to be offering book and music selections from Amazon.com.
I have read many of the items selected. Those I've not personally reviewed have been carefully selected based on personal exhaustive research.
Honored Babies receives a commission when you purchase from the selections here. If you cannot find what you're looking for in the special selections listed, please use the Amazon.com search tool found below and at the bottom of this page. If you ever choose to purchase from Amazon.com again, please bookmark this page. Please note that availability may change and not be reflected here. Thank you!
Consolations...
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The Art of Condolence : What to Write, What to Say, What to Do at a Time of Loss |
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Comforting One Another : In Life's Sorrows |
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Finding the Right Words : Offering Care and Comfort When You Don't Know What to Say |
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Grief : Comfort for Those Who Grieve and Those Who Want to Help |
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I Know Just How You Feel : Avoiding the Cliches of Grief |
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What Helped Me When My Loved One Died |
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When Your Friend Is Grieving : Building a Bridge of Love (Heart and Hand Series) |
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Honored Babies supports women whose babies have died, no matter the cause:
miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, pregnancy termination (abortion)
stillbirth, neonatal death, and/or infant death
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learn more about the book Honored Babies... learning to live with a broken heart, purchase your copy, submit your story for future volumes, and learn more about Honored Babies Press and its upcoming publications
Add a link for Honored Babies onto your site
I've chosen to partner with the companies below because they offer products appropriate to families grieving the death of their babies. I hope you find something that will help you (or your friend/family member) further memorialize your babies.
 
Remember baby with personalized jewelry.
 
Turn your baby's photo into canvas art.
Jewelry, music, movies, more. Gifts for the entire family during this difficult time.
Take care of her grieving body.
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